Blogs

Everyday i cry. I cry because i'm 13 yrs old and feel im here alone.My mother was a teen mother.She had me at 16 yrs old. My mother works 24/7 and never home.She works those many shifts to stay away from her children.I hear so many things everyday.When she has a day off she's never home she's out with her friends.When she is home she yells 24/7 verbally put me down.I stay in my room when im not with my father.I do have a rough childhood im not going to lie.And i'm not going to hide it.I could really care less what others think to.My father left for a period of time in my life he was on drugs and a drug dealer and i missed the times we had and had to go to the abuse of my mother.When i was 11 i found my hero.Nicki Minaj took me from it all.Not phisically but i never felt alone.I knew if i ever felt down i could just pick up a pick and the tears would still be there but i would have a smile.She's taght me to never give up.I at a young age thought of cutting myself,hanging myself,or just drowning.I could never do that.No matter how hard life was i had to keep going.I would be giving up.That's not me.I needed something to take me away.Nicki Minaj my reason for keep going.For me thinking imma queen i her eyes.I could do anything.No one never never taught me the things she had.Not my mother or father.I have no kinda spark in my relatinship with my mother now that im 13 and i barely talk to my father.I'm the type of child that wants to be like a regular child and go to their mom for EVERYTHING.I go to my grandmother.Nicki is a HUGE Hero in my eyes.I cry my eyes out for days upon days because i never thought i could find someone like her who cared!People don't understand how and why i love Onika the way that i do and i can't explain.I cry as i say thisbecause im still in shock that i have.I Love Onika Tanya Maraj! ahhh it feels good to let it all out.Under this smile i put on in my twitcon it's a pain aching pace.I wanted someone to love Nicki Thank You Baby i reall appreciate you walking in my life and leaving a mark on my heart. Tuh that's not even half of 1/4th of it..