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Thu, Jul 5, 2012 at 4:01 AM

venting, again

i don't understand why you'd be okay with how things are right now. we've both agreed this situation isn't good, but you don' want to sort it out? i dont understand it at all. there's so much history now, and i understand that means things will never go back to how they used to be. but i don't see why we can't sort things out to a point where we're just civil. and i know what you're going to say "we are being civil" but this isn't civil, it's far from it. one day you'll act like everything's fine again, like we're back to how we used to be, and then the next day you'll treat my like i'm nothing? ok. i can't stand hot and cold people. either you're with me or you're not, this inbetween thing is bullshit.

the worst thing is, after everything that's happened, your happiness is the most important thing to me. obviously i want to sort things out, i want things to be okay between us. but if you're happy having nothing to do with me, if that's what you want then that's fine by me. i'll put your happiness before mine. but that's how it's always been, that's how it always will be.. and if years down the line you came to me like "ebony this has happened and idk what to do, i need your help" you know that i'd be there for you, in a heart beat. i wouldn't even hesitate to do literally everything and anything i could do to help you. because at the end of the day, i still care about you. i always will.

so please, just tell me what it is that you want. because it's not knowing that's hurting me the most, idk where i stand anymore.

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