Tue, Nov 27, 2012 at 7:33 AM
A Boy I No Longer Love
It wasn't very long ago. Maybe just a little more than a year back, but in the language of love, one year isn't a very long time, for time flies by ever so quickly when one is in love. And I can tell you, this was love. He was perfect. Everything a girl could ask for. A gentleman that oozed both with swag and class at the same time. A tough character, yet he was only sweet with me. A beautiful boy, intelligent physically, mentally, emotionally. His charm knew no bounds, and his wit was unmatchable. A magnetic personality that literally drew others toward him and his carefree self. That was what a stranger might have thought at first glance, but he was so much more. One wouldn’t believe all the smaller, more incredible things I have discovered about him as I got to know him. His actions were etched with a certain gentleness, his voice overflowed with pride as he spoke of his perfect and beautiful family, his relaxed humor was tinted with a vast possession of knowledge. He doesn’t know what he wants, but he knows exactly where he is going. A confusion of lost and found. He was so laid back about growing up, unlike myself, I was petrified of the world of adulthood. He, on the other hand, was brave, courageous. I couldn’t match him in any way. Practically an exact opposite of him, how could I not be incredibly insecure with this piece of perfection? But instead of facing reality, I lived in my dream, stubborn and ignorant to my subconscious self, yelling at me to wake up. And now, he has broken me, for he has realized I was not good enough. He has awakened from his awkward trance of my above-average physicality. And he has let me go. But how could I let him go? The perfect being. Was I meant to only have a slight taste of his flavor and not the full meal? And soon, I found another being, who may not even be as close to this one, but I have molded myself into an accepting personality in the harsh conditions of having to move on. I am not entirely happy, but one day I will be.