Tue, Nov 27, 2012 at 8:51 AM
The saddest thing about final decisions is that you can't change them. You can't go back in time, and see what the other road might be like. You will never know how it would've been and what you could've felt. What if you had said yes to something or someone in the past, would you have been sitting or lying there, bored to death and thus reading this post right now? Maybe you would've been chatting somebody up about the outfit you might be wearing tomorrow on your date if maybe you hadn't left the class so early yesterday and the cute guy eyeing you across the room had enough time to muster up some courage to ask you out. If only, you had the power to go back in time and try the other road, just to see what it was like. What if you could go back, and maybe said yes to the cigarette handed to you by that creepy guy at the taxi stand? And you could watch yourself smoke it, and see where you would have ended up. Would you have been a different person now if that had happened? Since you would have had experience on smoking, would it have added a few points on your popularity chart? Or subtracted it? Would you have done something more productive than lying in bed one night wondering what cigarette smoke would taste like in your lungs? Maybe you'd be writing it down somewhere, and have your language skills improve, because you had taken a puff the other night. Or maybe, if you are already a smoker, what if you had said no to your first cigarette? Would you have stuck to your decision? Would you think now that you wouldn't have stuck to your decision because you can't live without a puff? How would you have known? What if you had stayed with your last partner? What if you didn't make the move to break it off? Would you be sitting here, like me, wondering if you would've been sadder or happier? What if you are in an unhappy relationship or marriage, don't you wish you could just go back and change the fact you ever met your current lover and avoid the hurt this relationship would bring on either one of you? What if you had the luxury of going back in time to choose your decision slowly because you knew how all sides of the story would be played out? Let's say you could change your decision, for example, studying a course in university. You won't be able to change the knowledge you learn in the first course, even though you can just jump to another. That's the sad thing about life, that we can't go back in time and that every second that passes only passes once. So every decision we ever make is a final one, brimming with "what if"s.