Mon, Jan 2, 2012 at 11:04 PM
Do you think it's worth your time waiting for love? In my previous blog posts, I mentioned the "special guy" (blog posts titled: THANKFUL, COMPROMISE, STRUGGLES). So to put this story short/in summary, I hope lol. I met him back in the end of July/early August. My younger brother and I known his(the "special guy") sister~J(she's the same age as me) for about 4 years now (ever since middle school) but I wasn't the "close friend" type; more of the "hi/bye" friend. My brother liked her in middle school but never approached her. After middle school, everyone promoted...blah blah blah. She moved and we never heard of her...only had her as a friend on myspace and stuff. I guess my brother still contacted her here and there but that's about it. Fast forward to summer of '11. I guess she came back to our state and my brother and her started to talk and stuff. He would go over to her house and whatever. He told me that he was interested in her and wanted to be in a relationship with her. My dad, sister, and I went to pick him up one day from her house. I saw her brother and was thinking, "Wow, what a cutie." Haha typical girl moment lol but I would of never thought he would be in my life. Fast forward to the end of July/beginning of August...her brother (the special guy) added me on Facebook and we began chatting and getting to know each other for a couple days. I never knew J had an older brother (lol). He then wanted to hang out at the mall. I was nervous at first but my brother came along to hang out with J. I got to know him even more (I wrote a blog post about it titled: STRUGGLES). Fast forward passed these couple months. He began telling me all these nice things like, "I can't believe you were never in a relationship...You have an amazing personality....You're cute/pretty/funny....Any guy would be stupid to pass you up". Things like that. We constantly chilled and hung out with each other every Saturday of the week. He then opened up and told me that he liked me and why he did. It was sweet and touching but I do have my doubts and stuff because he can be like every other guy. His sister and my brother started dating in September and that's when I "told" myself to keep my distance and to just be friends with him. However, he said that he did have feelings for me and he would wait. I didn't want him to because life is short. He can use that waiting time to find someone that can make him happy or to find "the one". He told me that I'm perfect for him and he's willing to wait no matter what. And that he's afraid that someone might take me away from him. I just don't want him to regret his decision or to be dissappointed if "we" don't work out. But the things he said to me when he expressed his feelings touched me...it felt so genuine and I felt so special that there was a guy that was willing to wait for me. I know, I know I might be so vulnerable to believe it but it was a moment where you had to be there to believe it. Even though I told myself to keep my distance from him, we did get closer mentally and physically. No we did not sleep together lol. We eventually, cuddled and even made out. And no, our siblings do not know but I do think they have their assumptions. My feelings grew within the months I've known him. The days that I get to hang out with him, he makes me happy. Even when we're just sitting at the park, or in his room cuddling...I feel happy...I feel loved. But everything is like under a secret. But his mom knows...my mom has her assumptions and thoughts...our siblings probably are hinting. But I told my brother that he can get in a relationship with J. He's my younger brother...I want him to be happy and so far he is (in his relationship). Sometimes, I just wonder what would of happened if the whole situation was reversed...If me and him were together and my brother and his sister weren't. But oh well. I just have this feeling that he's going to get bored of waiting, or he's going to get tired of me. I just miss him so much, everyday, every minute and second. He's such a silly guy and he knows how to make me laugh and smile. I love how me and him can talk about anything and I love how he expresses his feelings to me. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve such an amazing guy like him. He's willing to wait for me but sometimes I feel like he shouldn't because I feel that I'm not worth his time. Now, wanting to hang out is hard without having my brother trip about it or my mom questioning me why I go with him all the time. Having every Saturday chilling, now it's going to be every 1-2 months. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to some but I never would of thought I would like this guy so much. I care for him and always thinking about him or what's he doing. I just don't want all of this waiting to go to waste. And even if our siblings don't end up together (not jinxing), would we even work out? What are our siblings going to say?...Etc. And yes, I know that when you love someone, you shouldn't care about what others say but idk. There's so many questions roaming through my mind about what's happening now, if me and him are even going to be together or what if we aren't, and more...I tend to overthink a lot. Here's my question to the reader: Would you wait for your special guy or girl if they were willing to wait for you? Or would you just set them free?
"All a girl really wants is for one guy to prove to her that they're not all the same." -unknown
"Relationships are worth fighting for, but you can't be the only one fighting"-unknown
Thanks for reading,