Sun, Dec 2, 2012 at 8:23 PM

Chapter 4: Makeups or Breakups?


Awkward silence filled the rest of the ride home, after Onika spoke. Honestly, I felt really ashamed. When we got to the arena, she smiled at me. Was it just me or was it a smile of pity? And then, Onika did the unthinkable. She kissed me on the lips, before she got out of the car. "That one's for the one I missed." she said, and walked off in the distance. Or, so it seemed like. Onika was a mysterious woman.

So... Was this a break-up... And a make-up? Oh, whatever. Either way I was satisfied.


I snuggled up next to Chris. I finally made it back to Florida, in time to spend some time with him. Honestly, I was dissatisfied with Chris lately, but he fufilled most of my needs. MOST. Aubrey could've fufilled all of my needs. Oh, great... Now I'm sitting, supposed to be satisfied drinking with Chris, but no, I'm thinking of Aubrey. And God knows once I start I can't stop.

First of all... The way he tried to be with me, and I blew him off. At that point my head probably was up my butt. I didn't know that once he moved on to loving Onika I would, in the end, want him. So how could I say, that after all this time, I wasn't paying attention to Aubrey's signs? Now that it's all over TMZ and all those other up-your-butt gossip channels that Aubrey and Onika kissed, there's no way I can squeeze in and push Onika out. Or is there?

"Yo, Rob. Get me some more champagne?" Chris said, sleepily. Maybe he was just wasted, I don't know, but I sighed and filled his glass up. "I could write a song about us, y'know." he muttered. I wrinkled my nose. "What do you mean?" "Well.. It would drive the press nuts, wondering who the song was about. And then I could reveal a hint about who it was that I loved, and..." I didn't listen to the rest of it. Oh, God, I was in a mess. Chris was going to do it, it sounded like, and then Aubrey would have things against me, ways to say that we didn't belong together, that it wouldn't be right. Well, it is right, and it's up to me to let him know. "Meh. Guess I could. Let me get my songwriting notebook and call up my writing buddies. Maybeh they could, uh, help me out." Chris continued. I rolled my eyes, unseen, and threw the blankets over my head, trying to act sexy. Maybe I could get something out of this sort-of relationship. But, not even, because Chris was too distracted writing a song I didn't want. At all.

Maybe I wanted to wait. Maybe I wanted... a break-up.


Damn, Aubrey's lips tasted good. I sort of wanted more, but knew it was too late now. I'd appear to desperate. As I watched the stupid, crappy gossip channels obsess over our kiss, I smiled. Maybe this was what I was waiting for. The rush of a relationship, the idea of having someone to love, and someone loving you, even when you feel like no one else does. Okay, that last part wasn't true. I have TeamMinaj for that, and my baby Fonty. And... Roman. But it didn't matter, even so... Drake could be the thing
I was waiting for. I sighed and flopped onto my bed, trying hard to focus on the screen in front of me. SB bought that for me back in May, when I was signing things at Best Buy. He claimed it was "on sale". Huh, no. But it seems like something's going on with him...
It was too hard to not think about Aubrey. I was hoping we'd break-up, again... And make-up again.
Or was it even a real relationship? I got up out of my bed and walked to Aubrey's tour bus. I think we needed t discuss something.


Damn, where was Onika? She said she was going out tonight, but she should be back by now. I sat in the tour bus, and turned on the TV. An image of Aubrey and Onika embracing filled the screen. "Nah, they just friends." I told myself. But following that, a blown up image of their lips intertwined? "There are some amazing photoshoppers like that." I told myself. But then I remembered. Onika was going out tonight. Last night, Aubrey walked Onika back, while I talked to Robyn, and stressed over Onika. Could Nika possibly be...? NO. I didn't want to think about it. Instead, I took the ring I kept hidden, my gift for her, under the sofa and I put it in the driver's seat compartment. For now, it wasn't going to happen anytime soon.


Greeaat, Aubrey left me to clean up by myself. Was he even coming back home tonight? Doubt it. My stupid tux got stained. I sat on the counter, and Tweeted Nika. "You ok with Aubs?" I private messaged. "Mm, yah. Tell you later, I caught up in something." she messaged back, minutes later.

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